Many people don’t get along with their spouses any longer when they decide to divorce. They choose to divorce because they see no other way to resolve their situation.
That being said, not getting along doesn’t meant that your divorce has to be contentious. There are options to work together or to work with attorneys who can help you resolve your disputes outside court.
Approaching your divorce with the goal of “winning,” isn’t necessarily going to help you, and it could actually make your divorce take longer.
Why shouldn’t you try to “win” your divorce?
One of the first problems with trying to “win” at divorce is that you’re going to be more emotional and more likely to make decisions based on those emotions. It’s better to pick your battles carefully, because you’ll save time and money. You should have an idea of which assets you need or do not need, too, so that negotiations save you time and energy without the stress.
Remember that most divorces require you to split your assets equitably, too. So, even if you try to take everything, a judge may not agree with you. If you can’t settle fairly outside court, showing that you’re trying to take everything from your spouse is a good way to get on the judge’s bad side.
What is a real “win” for a divorcee?
A real win should be when you focus on saving time, money and effort. While you should fight for a fair distribution of your assets, fair custody time and overall respect during the process, you don’t want to drag out your divorce unnecessarily. By reducing how much time you spend in court, you could save thousands of dollars in legal and court fees. Those assets will then be more likely to be split between you and your spouse, which is really what you may want to aim for.
Divorces don’t have to be contentious. Many do settle outside of court, which means that you can move on with your life sooner. This is a win for most people by any stretch of the imagination.